Every time I write another chapter, another page, another word that I must, I feel Miss. Ego questioning me, glaring.
“Umm, you remember the last time you sent out that piece, and how they took so long to respond back with their comments?”
And I say “Oh, yes, and I was biting my finger nails. Ha, all they said was they were quite happy with my work.”
“Ooh, of course they did. . . I was just wondering why they took that long. You know, I’m concerned about you. Anyway, what’s that you’re writing now?”
“I am going to start ghostwriting the first chapter of the new book. Been quite a while it’s sitting on my desk unfinished. I should really get started. . .“
“Ah, that. Weren’t you unsure of how to begin it? Have you figured anything?“
“Erm. . . no. Just thinking. In fact I do have an idea. I would love to. . .“
“Yes, yes. But make sure you remember how tough that particular assignment is. Come to think of it, you did procrastinate for a whole week on that one! Not for nothing. My, my. . . Are you really ready to do it now?“
“Erm. . . I. . . Oh come on! Fine. I can take some time out and go away from it so that I have fresh ideas. You reckon?“
“Well. It’s your choice. But I’m concerned about you, you know? Bad writing, rejections. . . that world is so full of it. You’ve been lucky, but who knows what next? Wait, what are you doing now?“
“Oh, I thought I’d write a new blog post and mingle with my blog friends, you know? It’s been a while. I am due a post. Blogging makes me happy 
“
“Now now. Another post? Let me be objective and ask you to be the same. Do you really feel your posts will be interesting enough? What if they didn’t like what you wrote this time? Gosh, that’s a scary thought. Dunno how you stay put, writer. Eh?“
“Well I can see what you’re trying to do here. You’re distracting me yet again!“
“Distracting? Nope. I’m just asking you to be cautious. I’m concerned about you, you know?“
“Hmm. Then I have the perfect idea to post. It will speak my mind out loud and clear–literally. 
“
“What’s that gonna be?“
“Wait and watch, dear Miss Ego.“
“I don’t get it. Wait! Dear Lord, are you exposing ME?“
“Nope. I’m sharing. I’m creating. Because that’s what I’m supposed to do.“
~~~
Strangely, Miss Ego left in haste after this interlude. Good riddance, at least for a while! Though I must add, Miss Ego does have better things to say too. Sometimes. I didn’t let her rise just for this. Or did I?
What do you think queridos lectores y lectoras? What does your pesky nay-sayer say? How do you quiet it?
Photo by tonyhall at PhotoRee.com
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Tags: block writer, creativity, ego in writing, procrastination, trust your writing skills, writer's block, writing better, writing fear
Love it! So happy when Ego gets chased away!
Here’s what I do/did:
http://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2010/08/08/the-inner-path-to-peace/
My Ego rarely pipes up these days when I sit down to write. It’s just me and my words.
Thank you nrhatch. I so know the feeling myself. And good for you, seems like you’ve learned to tame it!
-BrownEyed
P.S. And the way you wrote about it is simply amazing.
Oooh, I hate my naysayer… It works at me all the time, and is so tiring! I think the way to silence it is mostly to ignore it – it’s like a bully, you know? If it doesn’t get a rise out of you, eventually it’ll get bored and go away!
Haha–what a smart analogy. Yes, it’s indeed like a bully. And different ways work. Ignoring or exposing or maybe bashing
-BrownEyed
I’m constantly thinking like this – nice to know others do too. It sometimes feels like I live in a world where everybody else is so sure about themselves and I’m the only one hesitant to get my feet wet. I wonder a lot if I get too personal on my blogs, if people think I’m over the top, if I should just stick to my art like other artist bloggers do. I just say to hell with it. Even if nobody reads my blog – it’s a good way for me to chronicle my work, personal growth, and progress. I haven’t had anything close to a diary since I was 13, so it all works out – and I just ignore the naysayer til it goes away.
Hmm…I understand your worries Messina. And you’re smart enough to ignore it. It feeds on attention, so better let it go. The letting go, however, is the toughest it seems.
I totally agree: a blog can very well serve as a companion and chronicle of your art. It’s there with you through the dark times, and the happy ones.
-BrownEyed
Of course this voice would say “I’m concerned”—that is the new evil, manipulative expression these days…it immediately makes me suspicious of whoever uses it.
Precisely. There are concerned ones, genuine ones too. However, when it goes a bit over the top, you know it’s time to flee.
-BrownEyed
You are very brave for sharing your inner doubts and worries. I did that before, and you know what, they don’t bug me as much anymore. Nowadays my problem is other people. I can focus and be at peace and take care of myself, but I keep find that others bring me down, you know, steal my mojo. I know I can’t do anything to change them, because believe me I tried, but they aren’t doing me any good. Any suggestions? Good luck to you you brave writer!
My mom used to do this to me a lot so I do understand. My only advice (even though you didn’t ask me specificly!) is to cut them out of your life or at least warn them saying, “Hey, you’re bringing me down!” If they aren’t close to you, then forget about them! I don’t think my mom ever meant to do so much harm, but people just get going down negative roads and they let it jade their opinion on life. So when those of us who have a more positive, go-getter outlook come along, it challenges their way of life. But, still we don’t have to deal with that, especially if it is going to steal our mojo!
It’s kinda of hard for me, although a friend of my suggested that a while back when I had brought it up. It’s hard to shut out the people you love though, especially since they have helped you so much in the past.
Thank you.
Ollin, I understand your concerns. I’ve been lucky in many instances, like Miss Ego said. I’ve had supporting people.
You know, it’s sad that in today’s world, monetary earning is the scale with which others gauge how successful you are. It’s practical in some ways too. I don’t want to be offensive to anyone, but this is the common way of “judging” and “being judged”. We are all creative, but not “business-minded” like the majority. I think it happens more so with single people, you know, who are meant to be the sole “bread winners” in their lives?
Look at your parents, and moreover at your sister, Ollin. I am sure you have a supportive set around too.
My only suggestion is to focus more on them and less on others. And, of course, continue meditation and intention manifestation, if you will. It makes things a lot easier when you approach things with a “we are One” mentality. It’s tough to embrace what Tolle says in his book, but I guess it is worth a several tries.
Lastly, carry on and keep creating the magic that you presently do. Finish that novel, and get it past the publishing giant’s gate. Do it!
Love,
BrownEyed
Aw, thank you browneyed. Maybe to deal with it I just had to hear some support from my blogging friends! I think that just did the trick.
@ Ollin ~
Do you know the song, Remember the Tinman, by Tracy Chapman? If not check it out.
Who stole your heart? Left you with a space that no one or nothing can fill? . . . Who took away the part so essential to the whole? . . . What robber? What thief? . . . Did you give it away? . . . Now you have no trust in no one . . . Was it a trickster using mirrors and sleight of hand . . . Or a potion that you drank? . . . If you can tear down the walls . . . remember the tinman . . . found he had what he thought he lacked . . . go find your heart and take it back.
Thanks nrhatch. Great song! Time to get back my heart I guess.
Btw, sorry browneyed, did mean to hijack your discussion. lol.
No, I am totally enjoying you intelligent and enlightened souls here. Do carry on!
I also believe, like Messina said, it’s about the outlook. Once you beam and dance in joy (not faking but feeling it), people will start to recognise where you’re coming from. Trust me. It’s like they will start looking at you as someone happy and someone with a “Secret”. “What’s your secret Ollin?” They will ask. And your answer would be a modest “I am in alignment with my passion and purpose”. Everything follows from thereon.
-BrownEyed
I can relate. Lately, my voice is telling me it’s OK to take a break, and another, and another…until the day is almost over, and I’m thinking, “Did I get anything done? And, is it any good?
Ha! See? That’s EXCATLY what I’m talking about! I mean, the voice IS indeed smart in getting us do what it wants us to, no?
Until, it is monitored, that is.
-BrownEyed